If you’ve ever wondered as an adult why you can’t seem to shake certain beliefs, fears and doubts about yourself, others or items in your life, it’s not your fault. Unfortunately, you’ve become the product of the belief system that was hardwired and integrated into your brain years ago.
Believe it or not, almost all of our beliefs, thoughts, fears, doubts, etc. that we hold true as adults are formed in our young, subconscious minds before the age of 7! As we are in the very young and impression-heavy phase of our lives, we take every thought, sense, feeling, touch and what we hear to begin building a filter and belief system that will serve us for years to come.
- Parents, teachers, coaches, friends, relatives and other people of influence in a child’s life say to the child, in other words, This is fact.
- Child accepts elders’ perception of what is fact – even if elder is completely wrong.
- Child unconsciously ingrains these beliefs in his/her subconscious and builds habits accordingly.
- Child grows into an adult operating under dozens of faulty beliefs and habits, but is not consciously aware of it.
- Adult operates under false and limiting beliefs and sets invisible boundaries for his/her life at an unconscious level.
Essentially, from the time we are very young, we have formed self-limiting lies and beliefs in our heads about ourselves, as well as others. Many of these beliefs are tied to things like survival and stability. There’s probably a pretty good chance your parents and others didn’t purposely program you to be super daring, take chances and risks and to always find the bright side of every situation. If they did, you’re probably kicking some serious ass in life already! On the others side of the coin, also remember that there are fantastic beliefs that have been instilled in you since you were young that are serving you very positively in your everyday life. Either way, those beliefs have come to be and are what they are!
Looking for a great example of how these beliefs come to be? How about an animal or critter you are scared of… Why are you scared of spiders? Or snakes? Because an adult at one point in your life showed you through their actions and/or words to be scared of them. They probably shuddered when you were around them, or told you they were yucky or something similar. The result was you buried that belief and constructed more of your filter with that information. From then on, you took that information to be true and formed habits based off it.
Another example would be a current fear in your life relating back to a specific incident or a consistent environment you were brought up in. One of my biggest fears used to be financial stability. No matter what I did I always feared it wasn’t going to be enough financially. I was literally working myself to death trying to make more and more, even though it wasn’t needed.This goes back to the environment I was raised in with 4 brothers and sisters and not a lot of money. That survival mode of trying to make more and more money was burned into me between impactful moments in my childhood and seeing my dad overwork himself consistently to try and provide for our family. Now, understand also that it’s what he had to do for our family to make it. Only in the last few years have I deconstructed that belief I formed through multiple thoughts, experiences and filtering on my own and come to the realization that life isn’t about just surviving and paying bills. There’s so much more to it that needs to be prioritized ahead of a bank account.
The good thing about these beliefs you hold as an adult, however, is that they can be let go of and deconstructed. That process isn’t easy by any means, but is IS doable. And don’t look at these items in your life as such a detriment, but challenges and learning experiences to become even stronger.
First, you must be willing to see and admit the belief that is holding you back or has proven to be false.
Second, you must take actions necessary to tear down the belief through positive self-talk, leaning into the fear/belief and repetitively fighting against the belief through your thoughts, actions and words.
Third and lastly, you have to realize and identify with what you truly WANT to believe and NEED to believe. You need to walk the walk daily against the limiting belief, not merely talking the talk or convincing yourself you don’t believe it anymore.
In the end, you’ll find out that these fears, doubts and beliefs that your young and subconscious mind formed without your approval are all BS. They’ve only existed in your mind because you’ve allowed them to and you’ve fed them over the years with habit and thought. As soon as you stop doing that, the limiting factors in your life will start to crumble before you eyes.